October 6, 2009

• My one man show

  I don't know about you, dear reader, but I have a very visual imagination. When I think about something I want to do, I can actually see the way it will be as a visual representation in my head - very much in the same way that I see the movie of the books that I read. When I read a book, I picture the described scene as if it were being projected as movie. I get an idea of what each character should look like and experience the utter disappointment when the actor that actually gets cast in the movie version of the book ends up being a Leonardo Di-Caprio, Tom Cruise or Nicholas Cage type.

  Since a majority of the books I read don't have strong female characters, they could cast Paris Hilton or any other $2 whore in a role I have read in a book and I wouldn't care less.

  So, bearing in mind that anything I imagine appears to me as a fully realised three dimensional model in my head, it would come as no surprise that an idea for a one man show has already been written, stage designed and performed without a single physical thing being done to bring the project to fruition - I even gave this inaugural show a name (I won't tell you what it is just in case you decide to steal my idea) plus worked out what the next show will be about - FYI, the second shows title will contain the words "Confessions of...." in the title.

  This is the exact same process I used when I was considering the knockdown/rebuild on my home in the years leading up to the event.

  I've always said that everyone has an autobiography in them. If you actually listen to the people you hang around, you would realise that they are really very interesting. I also think that everyone could turn their life story into a show. My life (to me at least) is as boring as the day is long, but if I told it with a few alternative views and day to day observations thrown in here and there, it could become entertaining to (some) people.

  Recently, I finished reading "Official Book Club Selection" (a book with words in it by Kathy Griffin) and my show would be modeled on what she does - imitation IS the sincerest form of flattery I hear. She goes out on stage and tells stories about the strange things that happen to her on a daily basis. Of course, being the celebrity type, the strange things that happen to her involve other interesting people and events so my show would have to rely on me being witty about the strange people I know (just through my job I know a lot) and dredging my memory for those things that have happened to me throughout my life that would qualify as being odd (you really will want to see this show if you want to know why I am the way I am).

  I am always up for a challenge of any kind.

  Now, being the nobody that I am, I certainly couldn't expect to fill a large venue or spend a lot of money on advertising, so my idea would be to rent out a storefront on the main street of the town I live in for a few days, stick some (home printed) posters in the windows, rent some plastic chairs and pay for some ads in the local papers. With any luck, people would turn up. I'd have to charge some kind of entry fee, but I think I would leave it as a donation kind of thing. For all I know, whatever I end up doing may not be worth you parting with any real money.

  Remember this though, if you were to come to my show and donate, you would get free coffee and biscuits.

  The whole show would be a very simplistic affair - a stool, a table for water and a microphone. Through some wheeling and dealing, I'd convince my mate Garry to come along and we'd perform some musical numbers - I've always gotten a kick out of jamming with him. Someone would work a spotlight (Garrys son Brendan perhaps?) and the show would ramble along for an hour or two. I'd even throw in a Q & A section so people could get to know me better if things were going well. I could see it working out well, but I can also see it failing dismally. I am a glass half full guy in general, so that wouldn't be much of a disappointment at all.

  Would you come to listen to me talk about myself? There would be free coffee and biscuits...

  Later days.

  Trivial fact number 203:- Paul Revere was a dentist - which proves that even the lowest of society can be a force for good.

  • 8:15 am
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