March 8, 2010

• Movie Magic

  Dear reader, I am not necessarily prone to bouts of lowering my standards to attract attention, but I can't avoid the fact that it's Oscars time again. To me, this shallow and vacuous event seems to come around earlier every year, but that could be attributed to the increased speed at which time is passing for me now I am over the age of 40.

  Since I don't watch the Academy Awards, you'll be happy to know that I am not going to write a long rambling tale of what they mean to me. As stated in the previous paragraph, I find them (and all other awards ceremonies for that matter) to be shallow and vacuous. In fact, the only part of the show I do take any notice of if I should happen to be in the vicinity of a television showing them is the "In Memorium" bit where I get to find out who has passed away in the last year. This was the only way I found out that Elizabeth Montgomery had died. Sounds morbid, but comes in very handy when talking trivia and wanting to sound smart.

  Instead, I shall regale you with the story of the first picture theatre that I ever visited as a child. It wasn't really a cinema though, but the Mt Druitt Community Hall that someone had fitted out with a proper cinema projector and screen because he had seen a need for such a facility in the area that I lived in. Given the general lack of public transport and the low incidences of car ownership nearly 40 years ago, it was pretty much an ordeal to get to an "official" cinema.

  If my memory serves me correctly, the first film that I saw at this pseudo cinema was "Tickle Me" starring Elvis Presley and I remember that it frightened me - you have to watch it to understand why a movie that was basically fluff could frighten a child of about 6 or 7 years old. Obviously, since the movie had been made a year before my birth, it was a rerun. That was the kind of place this makeshift cinema was - eventually, movies came to it and were shown and everyone was thankful they had a place to go on a Saturday night that wasn't too far from home.

  As far as the cinematic side of things went, the hall was only really used in that capacity during the spring/summer/autumn period. I don't ever remember it being used for the showing of movies during winter.

  Since the building was primarily a community hall that was used for a multitude of things, it wasn't carpeted and had a polished hardwood floor. This came in handy because it alerted people to the whereabouts of the "usher", who was just some strange guy who wore heavy army boots and would stomp around the place during the movie at all times during the show. I can never recall seeing him in outside of the hall in the foyer area, but if you ever attempted to whisper something to someone or coughed during a movie, he was right there in a flash to shush you. I doubt any couples ever found out what would happen if they decided to do a little kissing in the back row.

  I remember accidentally emptying an entire packet of Jaffas onto the hardwood floor on one occasion. While there was applause from the other patrons, there was bitter disappointment from me since I no longer had a snack to eat during the show.

  The last movie that I went to see at this pretend cinema was Grizzly on 1976 when I was 10 years old. For me, this was the scariest thing that I ever saw and I spent most of the afternoon sitting in the foyer because it was so scary. At 10 years of age, bears are scary at the best of time but put one on screen happily eviscerating people and it just becomes horrific not matter how many breasts are shown.

  The days of the hall being used as a cinema are long gone now. After the summer of 1976/77 it all came to an end. The hall is still there and, from what I understand so is all of the projecting equipment. 30 years has seen a lot of change and, even with the advent of DVD, cable TV and internet downloads, the popularity of going to the cinema or even the drive in hasn't really waned. Most of the movies are pretty much garbage nowdays, but if you're interested in spending a few hours in the dark remembering what it was like to be a kid or imagining what your parents saw as entertainment you still can.

  It only happens about 3 times a year for me.

  Later days,

  Trivial fact number 213:- St Nicholas, the original Father Christmas, is the patron saint of thieves, virgins and communist Russia - I think that sums up Christmas perfectly.

  • 6:51 am
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